I could almost paraphrase it in this way – it’s all the same s*it, but then it would be rude and uncalled for.

Every year I have one date, which becomes a catalyst for my relationship with the outer world and people cruising somewhere in my approximate stratosphere. It is my birthday.

Don’t get me wrong. It is not a matter of gifts. No, no and one more time – no.

But its all about a value others have given to your presence in their lives.

Maybe I sound bitter, but it is strange (but maybe not so much), that people know your phone number, when they need money or support, but on your birthday they enter la la land, where there is no mobile phone to use for at least sending simple sms.

Right, I have made my this year’s rant, so I have completed my mission. And I know that next year all this nonsense will return, and again I will set here and rant.

But at least this mood will last for one, ok maybe two days. After that I will return to the world and try to put all this behind me by moving forward, for I know that I will not change. I will continue to communicate with those, who unintentionally had caused me to question their place in my life, but basically it’s all just a little bit of history repeating.

KL

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I never thought that I would like art therapy so much.

In short. For almost 2 weeks I am off the rehabilitation center due to my shoulder injury. And one of the procedures is so called art therapy.

This activity is really fun, and I also like my doctor who is in charge of this therapy.

Of course all this artistic stuff comes together with the psychology, but it does not leave a bad taste in my mouth. Although afterwards I have to explain my ideas, colours and meaning of what I have painted/made, my doctor does not poke too much around my conscience.

Colours. Working with colours. That’s what I like the best. I like spreading them on the paper and then see the final result. I am painting them without much thought, but at the same time I try to lay them layer upon thus creating harmony for I’m trying to make some logical matches.

And yes, maybe, just maybe I am beginning to understand more about myself, what I like and what not so much.

But I definitely like colours. Splash of colours. A lot.

P.S. no photos of my “masterpieces” will be attached 😀

KL

Today I met one of my few acquaintances. We haven’t met for quite a time.

And as usual, our chat started with the traditional “How are you?” So nothing out of ordinary.

But one thing changed for me during this chat. It was the first time I was able to formulate and express in one sentence everything what is wrong with my present life.

After brief insight into my current health problems, my acquaintance asked me a simple question: “Kriss, what is going on in your life that you are simply breaking into pieces?”.

And here I said it out loud, without second thought and any hesitation at all: “I’m simply doing my work, which I do not like, but which helps me to pay all my bills, but at the same time I do not know what I would like to do instead of the work I have.”

So simple. And it just took me years to admit it honestly.

At least, now I have a starting point, from where I can proceed in changing my life for better. Hopefully.

KL

Decided to belong to the specific group of people? At work. Be ready to enter the world of mobbing at the office.

You think you will be able to remain untouched by the negativity of the mob? Think twice. At best you will be one trying to blend in against few of them, but more often than not – against 5 or more. And remember, no one has managed sitting on two chairs at the same time, as you will have to decide whether you are with them or against them.

You have to ask yourself, why the mob chose to include you in their circle against someone?

And you decided that there is a safety in numbers? That you will be able to blend in? That they will leave you alone and to your devices? Yes?

You thought wrong. You were the means in destroying other person, because it does not matter that you staid silent. You were a part of war. And once the war against that person is finished, there is no guarantee, that you will not become the mob’s next victim. For you are not the king of the castle, but just a simple pawn in the game called power struggle. The faster you get that, the better for you.

Why so much words on this? Because it is a story of me. I was trying to become a part of such group. Maybe because of the need to belong to something? I still cannot answer this question. But the main thing is, I came to the point, where I had to make a choice – to join and belong or remain somebody standing on the outskirts of the battle royal.

I decided to become an observer, and, no matter, I tried and still try not to get to involve in these power struggles.

And I should say, that with encouraging results. The mob is leaving me alone. At least for now.

That’s all I wanted to say today.

Take care.

KL

 

This is a question, which is bothering me lately more often than not.

What I mean is, when you look around all I can see is very disturbing events, such as being stuck in social media, lack of personal contact among the people, constant violence and aggression on all levels of the society. That’s what I meant with the wrong.

It feels, for me personally, that is whole situation is going out of control completely. With control I do not mean state control, but rather some basic values and understanding of what is good and what is not so good, what is right, but what is to be avoid.

What I am missing in this world now is that we, people, have lost an ability to listen and respect other’s opinion. Now all has become down to something like – who is not with us, he/she is against us. And it is so sad. I believe, that every person should feel free to say what he/she really think about any issue, to voice their real opinion and not fear of being rejected and subjected to become outcast because of that.

This is called a freedom of speech, of what we have always been proud. What had happened to all this? What awaits us in the future, if at present we are forming two levels of thinking and expression of our view – one for outer world, and one for our “domestic” use?

I have no ready solution or answer to this question, as me too is forming various levels of expressing my believes and thoughts, each of them applicable to the particular situation, people and events.

And it all makes me sad, as in the result of all this I, for one, am losing my identity and become just like other. Something I do not want to do.

Sorry for such grim post, but something just triggered it today.

See you later,

KL

 

Everybody needs a day off

Posted: July 14, 2016 in snippet
Tags: , , ,

While others were at the office, I had my well deserved day off. Sun, see and fresh air. What else could I wish?

I can only hope that tomorrow will bring the same relaxing atmosphere.

See you tomorrow!

KL

Strange day  

Posted: July 13, 2016 in life, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Today one of my colleagues handed in his letter of resignation. Basically nothing special. People leave their positions every day.

But this time this particular event left its stamp on all this day. Even now when I’m at home and writing down all this mess these events keep spinning in my mind.

So in short. He handed in his resignation, boss didn’t mind at all and remained unfazed and my colleague became upset due to the lack of drama.

Next stage was set when he started to blame others remaining in their positions and not expressing their dissatisfaction with the existing regime, so to speak.

After all this, when we were left feeling like complete morons, he, like a real drama queen, left for home. And how he plans to work remaining month, I have no idea.

So my question of the day is – is it so difficult to act like an adult, not to burn all bridges and remain on friendly terms with other human beings, for it is true that no man is an island.

Good night, and have dreamless night, people.

KL